


Sex, Sex, Sex, Sex - Eh, Never Mind: Or, How Spock “Tamed” James “The T Stands for Tomcat” Kirk

by Aerica_Menai



Category: Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies)
Genre: Asexual Character, Asexuality, Asexuality Spectrum, F/M, M/M, Pon-Farr-ruled-sexuality!Spock, demi- and pan romantic asexual!Jim
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-27
Updated: 2018-06-27
Packaged: 2019-05-29 14:51:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,350
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15075509
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Aerica_Menai/pseuds/Aerica_Menai
Summary: What if James "The T Stands for Tomcat" Kirk wasn't actually all that interested in all the sex he has? What if he was asexual? Set pre- and post-Star Trek (2009).





	Sex, Sex, Sex, Sex - Eh, Never Mind: Or, How Spock “Tamed” James “The T Stands for Tomcat” Kirk

**Author's Note:**

> An ace fic inspired by the other two I recently wrote for the Fandom Ace Fest. This fic would not have left my half-completed-drafts document without the beta-ing and cheerleading of the fantastic @grayraincurtain - you're the best <3
> 
> I'm a pretty new writer discussing a very personal topic - constructive criticism, please. Many thanks and I hope you enjoy :)

Jim had never really fit in with the other boys in Iowa, but he learned to fake it over time. He was smart, but he had to pretend that he wasn’t; he’d rather read than play a sport any day, but every other boy played sports in their free time, so he took up baseball; and, most importantly, even though he really wasn’t all that interested in sex when most of his fellow students became increasingly sex-crazed, he played along – and grew to like it, even if it wasn’t his first choice most nights.

He liked sex, but the girls he was with? They LOVED it – apparently he was an especially good partner and starting earning a reputation as the best lay in the school. And while it may have started in high school, it followed him to Starfleet Academy – where he started to figure out what made sex the most fun. While he could sleep with someone he didn’t really know, he had a harder time getting into it and one night stands always left a sour taste in his mouth in the morning. He preferred sleeping with people he knew, the closer the better – but only as long as he wasn’t expected to maintain any sort of professional relationship with his partner. The first (and only) time he slept with someone he was tutoring, her limited attention span during his lessons grew even shorter and he found it impossible to help her at all; he immediately cut off both their personal and professional relationships and swore to keep pleasure and business far, far away from each other going forward. (Breaking her heart only increased his reputation, painting him as a challenge to be conquered - who would be able to steal the heart of the untouchable Jim Kirk?)

Other than the people he was expected to professionally interact with, Jim definitely preferred sleeping with close acquaintances - it made it so much easier to figure out what really rocked their world and he had so much more fun doing it. He loved the morning-afters just as much as the (often sleepless) night-befores, and the better he knew the person the better the morning-after. Eventually, on a whim, he decided to research why sex with some people was so much more fun than with others – and he came across a lot more than he bargained for. There were whole communities dedicated to people like him – asexual was the umbrella term most of them used. There were also plenty of terms to describe romantic orientation – demiromantic and panromantic seemed to fit Jim the best, so he mentally logged them for a future time when he felt comfortable explaining what he identified as to another person.

As it was, Jim found that his status as the campus bicycle was fantastic for helping him blend in, not needing to try as hard to force himself to play sports or hide his smarts when everyone who heard about his sexual exploits assumed that they knew all there was to know about him – and Jim liked it that way. Being underestimated meant that he could get away with (metaphorical) murder, not to mention the multitude of sexual partners that flocked to him asking for their turn, allowing him to continue learning and improving his carnal knowledge and abilities – he had a reputation to maintain, after all.

And for a while, Jim was perfectly happy with constantly changing sexual partners and hiding his intelligence. Then Jim was suddenly captain of an entire starship, with Spock as his first officer – he had no idea what he was in for until he was far too deep to turn back.

***

One of the reasons Jim had so many sexual partners at the Academy was the sheer size of the dating pool, all of whom knew his reputation and assumed that he would be up for whatever they asked for. When he explained that he preferred getting to know his partner before jumping into bed with them, his potential dates either turned up their nose(s) and left – no loss on his end – or he got to know a wonderful person and had a great time blowing their minds later that week. But there was always someone new showing up, and plenty of room for his past dates to vanish into the anonymous horde – not so once he was in command of a starship, with a limited number of people all under his command on board who were, therefore, sexually off-limits.

As Jim had sworn back in high school after that disaster with his tutee, he refused to mix business and pleasure, keeping him from sleeping with anyone on board the ship - but the sexual cutoff didn’t faze him all that much; he just shrugged and took himself in hand when the urge rose, and otherwise left it alone. Being asexual was definitely a perk in this situation.

Unfortunately, his lack of sexual activity did not only mean learning to take care of sexual urges himself, but also nothing to distract from his above-average intelligence. Jim could attribute flashes of brilliance on the bridge to adrenaline and coincidences, but a steady stream of brilliance could not upset his fly-under-the-radar reputation, he had kept it up for too long. So Jim started sitting down with his brilliant first officer, just the two of them, to discuss just about everything necessary to run the ship – and attributed any particularly bright ideas to Spock. It didn’t take Spock long to catch on, but rather than confront his captain, he just shook his head at the illogic of humanity and kept Jim’s secret.

***

As Spock began to realize the incredible intelligence his captain had but preferred to hide, he started to spend more and more time trying to puzzle out the enigma his captain had revealed himself to be – and the less time he spent with Nyota. While she easily accepted his reasoning for his ever-growing interest in the captain at first, the longer Spock prioritized spending time with the captain (who quickly became Jim in his mind, even as he continued to call him only by his title out loud), the quieter Nyota became in the little time they did spend together. Eventually Nyota sat Spock down and told him that their relationship wasn’t working, that she needed a partner who would put her first – and she couldn’t be that person for Spock, at least not so long as Kirk was around, she admitted with a bitter smile. Spock was confused by her mention of the captain when it came to her reasons for breaking off their romantic relationship, but if that was her desire, he had no reason to deny her wishes. They assured each other that they were important presences in each other’s lives, and settled into an easy friendship. Spock was now 100% focused on figuring out the mystery of one Captain James T. Kirk.

***

Jim quickly found out that being the sole focus of one (hot) determined Vulcan was nothing short of intoxicating, and his slight crush on his first officer became a full-blown infatuation. The more time they spent together, the harder he fell – but he was afraid that his status as Spock’s superior officer would color his confession, afraid he would unintentionally pressure Spock to reply positively, so he continued to hide his feelings.

One day Jim was thinking about knocking over the chessboard and kissing Spock senseless. Spock went to move his knight, fingers brushing against Jim’s – and accidentally received a burst of Jim’s thoughts. Spock rolled his eyes and brushed their fingers together again, this time with more purpose and a raised eyebrow. Jim flushed, realizing he’d been caught. But despite his surprise, he quickly reminded himself that he was James T. Kirk, no crush (no matter how powerful) could keep him down for long, he had a reputation to uphold! If Spock was willing to kiss him, then he would show Spock what kissing him could be like. He lunged towards Spock over the chess table, and they proceeded to knock over all the chess pieces while making out in both the Vulcan and human fashion.

After spending what Jim considered an appropriate amount of “courting” time (even for Vulcans) on kissing and snuggling, one night he asked Spock if he wanted to meet Jim in the bedroom. Spock frowned slightly. “Jim, we are already in your bedroom.” Jim laughed. “Spock, you are too adorable. Don’t ever change.” When Spock raised an eyebrow questioningly, Jim just smiled and shook his head. “Never mind, it was a silly question anyway.” Spock’s brow furrowed but he let it go for the moment. He would ask Uhura later, he decided. For now, he would just enjoy the pleasure of Jim’s company.

***

At their next “Girl’s Night Out” (as Uhura insisted on calling it, despite Spock’s repeated reminders that he was definitely not a girl), Spock asked her whether the question of meeting someone in the bedroom had a specific significance in human culture, especially if the two people in question were actually already in the bedroom? Uhura was silent for a few moments, before suddenly starting to shout about “that manwhore who probably has every STD in the galaxy” and how he had better be “treating treating you right!” (To be fair to Uhura, she had consumed a large amount of alcohol for a human that night.) Spock was thinking about how this meant Jim desired sex…and how impossible that was for a Vulcan outside of Pon Farr. Uhura interrupted his musings with a quiet, “You know you don’t need to sleep with him, and that you definitely shouldn’t try just to maintain your relationship, right?” Spock gave a small smile, glad to see Uhura’s care and worry for him. “Thank you, but please do not worry on my behalf,” he responded. “I will discuss the topic with Jim soon.” As difficult as the task may be, he continued in his own mind. But the intoxicated Uhura did not need to hear his (based on previous interactions and subsequent probabilities) unfounded worry; instead, he escorted her to her room and went to meditate on how best to bring up the subject.

With humans, a direct question usually led to the quickest resolution; trying to be subtle only led to misunderstandings. Keeping that in mind, Spock broached the topic over a quiet evening reading in Jim’s quarters. “Jim, approximately one point two nine weeks ago, you brought up the question of ‘meeting in the bedroom’ and never fully explained what it meant or why you brought it up.” Jim looked up from his book, a thoughtful frown on his face. “Well Spock, usually humans use it as euphemism for sex – I thought that we were ready to take that next step in our relationship. But I’m pretty sure that that was a misunderstanding on my part, and I didn’t want to pressure you so I’ve left the subject alone since then.” Jim paused slightly, before hesitantly asking, “Unless there was something else I misunderstood?”

Spock quietly weighed his options, before deciding that the direct approach had worked so far, he may as well continue. “Vulcan biology does not allow for much sexual intimacy – outside of a specific mating cycle that arrives around every seven human years, we are relatively impotent: unable to achieve erections and we tend to find it hard to achieve any arousal at all. I myself have more trouble than others – perhaps due to my status as a hybrid, perhaps due to some genetic quirk – but whatever the reason, I don’t believe that I will be able to participate overmuch in any sexual aspects of our relationship and – ” his breath hitched ever so slightly, betraying his nervousness, but he quickly continued, “I hope this will not negatively impact our relationship going forward.”

Jim was silent for a few minutes, the time seeming to stretch for far longer as Spock’s (human) nerves grew and grew – only to increase as Jim suddenly burst into (hurtful) laughter. Of all the possible reactions Spock had calculated, Jim laughing at him was not among the higher probabilities. He couldn’t help himself, physically stiffening as he started to build his mental shielding and prepared to leave the room – or, at least, he was until Jim quickly – lightly – wrapped a hand around his wrist and he sensed Jim’s fear-apology-regret.

“Please, Spock, I’m sorry, let me explain – ” tripped off his tongue, his fear that Spock would leave anyway incredibly clear. Spock paused and calmed himself – no need to act hastily, without stopping to ensure he was fully informed. He nodded for Jim to continue. “I’m so sorry, Spock, I swear I’m not laughing at Vulcan biology or you in particular, I swear I’m not, just how perfectly we’re suited for each other.” Jim smiled. “Just because I’ve had a lot of sex doesn’t mean I need to in the future. I’m asexual.”

Spock blinked. “…I’m assuming this has nothing to do with how cells and plants can reproduce?”

Jim smirked. “Definitely not. Asexuality simply means that I’m not sexually attracted to people. Some asexual people prefer to avoid sex – while I am definitely not one of those,” he winked, “that doesn’t mean I have to do it either. I’m up for it if my partner is, but otherwise? I can take care of myself if necessary.” Spock flushed a light green, causing Jim to cackle, “I see you like that idea. I’m happy to let you watch, or even teach you a thing or two about pleasuring me if you’re interested,” he leered.

Spock flushed a darker green before mumbling, “I would not be averse.”

Jim beamed. “Perfect. Spock, I do believe this is the beginning of a beautiful relationship!”

Spock sighed. “Are you quoting historic Earth movies again?”

Jim gasped theatrically. “Classics, Spock! They’re called classics. And I only quote them when they’re relevant.” (And of course, in the end, the Casablanca reference was absolutely accurate - it was the beginning of a beautiful relationship, and Jim never once let Spock forget it.)


End file.
